Monday, April 2, 2012

Finally Back (I Think)

I took some time off from writing because my wife and I had another baby. Some things just have to go for a time and the blog was one of those things. But now I am going to try and start writin again. Like I said we were blessed with another baby girl (Avery Rose) which has consumed most of our time. I am not sure how those bigger families do it. More power to them or maybe I should say grace to them. One big thing I have learned during these past couple of weeks is the selfishness in my heart. I feel like I am holding a stack of bananas and the French Peas keep screaming, "You're so selfish!" It's brutal! But it has been good for my growth in godliness. The saddest part was the fact that I was so surprised by my selfishness. Apparently I was beginning to think of myself as a better person thanmimactually am. I was holding a higher view of myself rather than a true view of myself. It boils down to the fact that I wasn't focused on Christ. Because of my higher view of self I was beginning to think I could serve and love in my own power. Wrong! I forgot what the cross says so loudly about me: Sinner. But I also forgot what the cost speaks about Christ: selfless. Because of Christ's selflessness my selfishness is forgiven. I've had to keep reminding myself of this truth. Christ needs to be my focus so I can die to self as Christ did. I am grateful he has not left me to myself but continues to pursue me. He is so good even when it hurts.

Grace upon grace,
JRL

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